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Afraid to lead










By Kimani Sioux Williams

Purity + Peace leader at Cornerstone Christian Center in Milford, CT


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Becoming a Purity + Peace leader was one of the scariest things I’ve done.


INVISIBLE WAYS

After a few sessions as a participant, I knew that I wanted to be involved with P+P for a lot longer than six weeks. I always saw myself as a strictly behind-the-scenes girl and volunteered to edit materials and assist in other small and invisible ways. I liked to have died the day I heard Vikki tell someone I was going to teach a session some day. I had to maintain composure in the moment, but everything in me was screaming:


“NOOOO!!! I CAN’T.”

Lo and behold: I can, I am and I’m loving it.


FINDING COURAGE

My life has pretty much followed that narrative ever since. Purity + Peace helped me wake up in so many ways. Prior to it, I was depressed and more anxious than I ever realized. Fear and comparison crippled me and I lost my ability to dream or see a bright future for myself. I was believing numerous lies about who I was, what I could accomplish, and the trajectory of my life. This warped view of myself was causing me to make choices that were far beneath me in every area: work, men, friendships, and more. I was like the Israelites in Numbers 13:33 when they went in to scout out the Promised Land that God had already said was theirs.


We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes…

Just like the Israelites, I wasn’t taking God at His word, largely because I wasn’t reading it. Purity + Peace changed that quickly, and as I began diving into my Bible, journaling through my anxious thoughts, and living in community, I found more courage.


TRANSFORMED

Suddenly I was able to step out little-by-little. With each new thing I did, the more confidence I gained. I’ve watched myself transform more and more into the woman that God knew before I was even in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5).


More importantly, I’ve gotten to watch so many other women become that woman. There is nothing more sacred and precious in this season of my life than the prayers, tears, laughs, and lives shared in a session of Purity + Peace, and afterward. I leave each week changed and end every six-week session with a new set of sisters along with a greater understanding of God’s love, power, grace, mercy, and strength.


To see God transform my sisters and be blessed enough to take part in it is an unspeakable blessing.



Sign up for a Purity + Peace session here.




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4 Comments


Maria Solomon
Maria Solomon
Oct 11, 2020

🙏🏽❤❤

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Zaibel Torres
Zaibel Torres
Feb 06, 2019

So transparent so raw!

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Powerful thoughts Kim! I cannot imagine how many women would not be impacted by her gift. But it also makes you think of how many OTHER women are still hiding and what we can do to reach them and help them be SEEN! Thank you for this impactful dialogue.

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I cannot count the amount of times I allowed fear to become a barricade, preventing my faith to bring me to places and people to help heal me, to help heal others. Being invisible always seemed ideal. But that's what the enemy wants. What if Kimani allowed her fear to prevent her from participating in Purity + Peace? I can literally name women who's healing solely depended on her bravery, including myself. Stop letting fear control you. None of us were meant to be unseen!

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