top of page

Afraid to lead










By Kimani Sioux Williams

Purity + Peace leader at Cornerstone Christian Center in Milford, CT


___________________________________________________________


Becoming a Purity + Peace leader was one of the scariest things I’ve done.


INVISIBLE WAYS

After a few sessions as a participant, I knew that I wanted to be involved with P+P for a lot longer than six weeks. I always saw myself as a strictly behind-the-scenes girl and volunteered to edit materials and assist in other small and invisible ways. I liked to have died the day I heard Vikki tell someone I was going to teach a session some day. I had to maintain composure in the moment, but everything in me was screaming:


“NOOOO!!! I CAN’T.”

Lo and behold: I can, I am and I’m loving it.


FINDING COURAGE

My life has pretty much followed that narrative ever since. Purity + Peace helped me wake up in so many ways. Prior to it, I was depressed and more anxious than I ever realized. Fear and comparison crippled me and I lost my ability to dream or see a bright future for myself. I was believing numerous lies about who I was, what I could accomplish, and the trajectory of my life. This warped view of myself was causing me to make choices that were far beneath me in every area: work, men, friendships, and more. I was like the Israelites in Numbers 13:33 when they went in to scout out the Promised Land that God had already said was theirs.


We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes…

Just like the Israelites, I wasn’t taking God at His word, largely because I wasn’t reading it. Purity + Peace changed that quickly, and as I began diving into my Bible, journaling through my anxious thoughts, and living in community, I found more courage.


TRANSFORMED

Suddenly I was able to step out little-by-little. With each new thing I did, the more confidence I gained. I’ve watched myself transform more and more into the woman that God knew before I was even in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5).


More importantly, I’ve gotten to watch so many other women become that woman. There is nothing more sacred and precious in this season of my life than the prayers, tears, laughs, and lives shared in a session of Purity + Peace, and afterward. I leave each week changed and end every six-week session with a new set of sisters along with a greater understanding of God’s love, power, grace, mercy, and strength.


To see God transform my sisters and be blessed enough to take part in it is an unspeakable blessing.



Sign up for a Purity + Peace session here.




189 views4 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page